Keep Our Heads Down

Sometimes we just have to keep our heads down.

At this time of year, people are distracted by consumerism and the noise it creates. It's a time when people are genuinely suffering. People hurt in many ways. Possibly and probably because there is a massive disconnect between what we're doing and what we're feeling.

Let's unpack an integral aspect of Christmas that we need to talk more about. Gifts. I want to talk gifts.

Some gifts are completely off the mark and they hurt more than no gift at all. These gifts leave you wondering, does the giver know me? Am I seen? Am I heard? And of course you feel guilty for being ungrateful.

Next are the gifts you feel compelled to buy even if you don't have the money. How will I pay the bill for this, you wonder. But you can't say anything so you pay up and try not to let it 'ruin the day.' Gift buying and giving when we don't have the money is. Well. Words just failed me. Because every word I considered here implied judgement on all of us who have done this very thing to 'keep the peace.' Peace. Really. Does Christmas bring peace?

When gifts match you, your life, your interests, who you are, they are a joy. What a wonderful thing it is when someone actually knows you well enough to buy you something that you want or need or will use. A gift such as that has Power. It sits in your life and it makes your life better. I've been Seen. I've been Heard. I am Known.

Worst gifts? Presents bought ostensibly for 'you' when they're actually for the person buying them. Once, I was bought a CD, but the cellophane was taken off it 'for me' and it was put into the CD player 'for me' and it had been put onto the other person's Ipod before I'd had time to get another mince pie. That gift wasn't for me. It was for him. That hurt. I do remember that person telling me more than once to 'grow a thicker skin.' Ah well, the nature of not-true love.

At this time of year, the big long arm with its massive hand of shadowy past grabs us by the scruff of our necks. And we dangle, helpless as a puppy pulled from a litter. Vulnerable. Isolated. And in that state, that long arm and massive hand shakes us. And gifts is one of the ways it does this.

And so, to me to you, I say this. Let's just keep our heads down. Let it all blow over. Do our best with it all and move on. There's a new year ahead and it's probably best to think about that and the gifts we can give next year: proper heartfelt value to other people's lives as well as to our own.

Bear hugs, big licks and sniffs,

Julia Savory and Georgia The Wonder Dog